reminisce

I used to take self portraits almost every single day. Looking back, I almost can't believe how well I documented some of the most difficult portions of my life, and I'm so glad I did. I've been feeling stagnant lately, almost as though I'm regressing. So today I'm reminiscing to remind myself of my progress and growth. 

Setbacks are inevitable, I'm learning that over and over again. But the point is to continue on, lessons counted and stored away for reference. Some days seem impossible, so impossible a self-inflicted death seems like the only and best option. It never is though! No matter how many times I've desired nothingness and peace from the turmoil I half encounter, half put myself through, the gratitude that I didn't always outweighs the pain that preceded. 

I'm figuring out how to embrace myself and conquer this pain in ways that not only benefit my own happiness, but everyone I touch as well. Learning to love wholly, to trust in who and where I am, how to forgive those who've hurt me knowingly or otherwise, and how to forgive myself. 

There are days when things just are not okay at all, and sometimes those days require nothing but acceptance. The fight turns into letting go, perfection to embracing flaws. 

I'm not sad anymore like I was in some of these photographs. More people experience these feelings than they'd like to readily admit, and I want you all to know you're not alone. I've been to hell and back and I'm sure I'll go again. Let me remind you that this is worth it. You are strong enough, you can do anything. My love grows every day for all the souls that exist, particularly those in pain. Don't give up. I may not know you but I do love you.